My 14 year old came home from school the other day with the usual respond to "how was school?". Then I remembered to ask her the "new" question I have been trying to use, "tell me what you observed today." Her response was, "I observed that I was angry because there is a bake sale for Planned Parenthood going on. It is the most advertised bake sale I have seen and there are many groups involved. I am really angry." Oh! Ouch! So we talked about it. I suggested she could always start a pro-life group at the school. Her response was sobering, "Who would join? They would just look at me like...." and she petered off. I of course continued to toss and turn many thoughts in my mind. Do other people spend so much of their time talking to themselves? I wonder. At first I was proud of her for her outrage. But then I got kind of nervous. She has the gumption to actually try to start a pro-life group. Oh my! Panic set in. She will be picked on and made fun of! She would not take that sitting down. She would retaliate. Total High School Panic set in: my mind-which goes from 0-60 on how bad something can be in a matter of seconds was reeling with unpleasant scenarios . But what was more sobering was when I realized what a hypocrite I was. I had just told my daughter to put herself on the line for her beliefs. I had just told her to do what I am too much of a chicken to do. WIMP!!!! Why? I had just seen a Pro-Abortion/Pro-Choice Facebook post that like my daughter made me angry and sad. But I said nothing. Whenever I see these post I tell myself that "I don't want to make social-media political. It is not the venue for a true discussion, give and take of ideas. It is fun and I enjoy it that way. Plus, people must know I am prolife, I change my pro-file picture on the anniversary of Roe v Wade." And well, I am Catholic. Really I am just a chicken. I am too scared to respond because people won't like me, they may even unfriend me!!! I will stand tall for my beliefs among a group of like minded people, I will stand on a street corner and pray in front of an abortion facility in front of strangers but I will not say what I believe in front of people that I know don't share my belief. I am afraid of sounding idiotic in front of friends and family. I need to get the thesaurus out and find more words for hypocrite. Remember the rule our parents taught us? You don't talk about religion, politics or money in polite conversation.
So I decided to poor myself a glass a wine and ask the Holy Spirit to use me to say what He wanted said and do a blog post. Big Chicken that I am.
Here is my train of thought and it is not a new train of thought either, it has been rattling around in my mind for awhile (This is the musing blog remember). How can any woman who has been pregnant and given birth support the killing of an innocent and defenseless baby? Here is when people get angry and unfriend but if I am truly willing to die for Christ isn't this what it means?
When I was a senior in college I remember having this debate with my my roommate who was very pro-life and a few other of us who were "pro-choice" side. I knew the arguments, I knew the rhetoric, I was an enlightened college student. "Women would die without legal abortion, it is a woman's body, it is her decision, what about rape? or serious disability? Or what about the woman's life?" I even said, "I would never do it but it is not my decision for other women." I knew it. I believed it. Plus there were more important things to worry about in the world: the environment, poverty, helping people.
Fast forward seven years. After 4 pregnancy tests we finally accepted the fact that we were pregnant. (yes, it took us that many tests including one at the doctors to believe this had actually happened! Now we know better.). I can't say that I changed my beliefs over night. What I can say is that if you follow the path God has given you and you are open to His plan He will lead you and you will grow in His Grace. God gave me the vocation of Motherhood. And by saying yes to that vocation I have grown in ways I never would have imagined. When you have a child you want the best for him/her. That desire paired with an amazing church community spurred me on to asking questions as to why the church teaches what she does. Instead of listening to sound bites or cultural knowledge on what the Church teaches I began to ask questions, read, study and learn. And what I learned was amazing. From the Church's beautiful teaching on sexuality, to St. John Paul the Great's "Feminine Genius", to recognizing the humanity of the persons (different ones, at different times) growing in me, my heart was soften. I also, through the years, read many different sources (both pro-life and pro-abortion) as to the history of the movement. Did you know Margaret Sanger was part of the Eugenics movement? She wanted abortion available to poor and minority women so we could "weed out the undesirables". And being the nerd that I am every time I was pregnant I read more and more about what was happening with my body and my baby's. It is amazing. My children challenge me daily to grow and become a better person. From the moment of their conception every single one of them has helped me grow closer to God. EVERY SINGLE ONE: even the baby I miss carried two months ago, the night of the third presidential debate when the candidates were debating the humanity of the the unborn. The irony of that was not lost on me.
My thoughts continued to muse around in many different directions. There are some people I know that will be upset and angry by what I wrote. There are some people I know who don't believe the same as me but they are also the ones I can sit with a cup a tea and really chew on this and discuss it. I have always enjoyed those relationship. We may disagree but we can discuss and learn from each other in a respectful atmosphere. AHAH! Isn't that what it is about? Not tolerance as defined by our society but love and friendship because we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Why do we treat each other with respect? Not because we tolerate each other. Not because it is the nice thing to do. No, we love each other because we are made in the image and likeness of our God. Each one of us. Every single one of us on this planet (which is mind blowing) is made in the image and likeness of God. Each one of us is loved by God. And each one of us, BORN or UNBORN should be treated with respect, and love. Simple as that.
And what about my 14 year old? Oh boy! I don't know what she will do. But I will remind her of what I just said. That we are all God's children. Even though you may not agree or support what the bake sale entrepreneurs are doing. You are still called to love, honor and respect them because they are your siblings in Christ. You don't have to support their cause. You don't have to like what they are doing. You certainly don't have to buy their baked goods. You can protest against the injustice you see. But you always, always should remember to do it in love and say a prayer for them that their hearts will be soften.
Easier said than done, I know.
As for me. I need to take my own advise! Social media may not be the venue to have these discussions but I should not fear standing up for what I believe as long as I too remember to do it in love.
