Sunday, March 22, 2020
Musing on Motherhood Spiritual Communion
Musing on Motherhood (MOM): What a surreal experience we are living right now....: What a surreal experience we are living right now. Never, in our wildest dreams, could we have envisioned ourselves where we are right now. ...
What a surreal experience we are living right now. Never, in our wildest dreams, could we have envisioned ourselves where we are right now. So much to think about, so much musing going on. Here are my thoughts, for what they are worth, and this time they really have nothing to do with Motherhood but on a topic that is fundamental to my vocation as a mother, my faith and my love for the Catholic Church.
Last Friday, March 13, the archdiocese 5 miles away from our diocese suspended Masses due to the Coronavirus. When I heard this I stopped dead in my tracks as the tears flowed from my eyes. For the first time I was scared and a little angry, "If we don't have Jesus, we are doomed." My thoughts can go from 0-60 in, well, less than sixty seconds and sometimes they can be insane!
As we loaded everyone into the car on Sunday for Mass, I vowed to be very present and cognizant of what we were about to participate in. I was going to make this Mass count because I knew it would be the last time I received our Lord in the Eucharist for a while. Like most resolutions, I failed miserably. The squirmy 8 year old continued to squirm, all over me, causing me to be slightly perturbed and then my grocery list started forming in my head. When it was time to consume the Eucharist and I was trying to purposefully and slowly chew I got a crumb stuck in my throat and started coughing! EEEK! NOW EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT ME AND THINKING I AM SICK. I left Mass thinking, "How are we going to do this with out Jesus?"
Let me interject here, just incase anyone reading is not Catholic. Yes, we really do believe the Eucharist is Jesus', body, blood, soul and divinity. I really do believe this. I don't just believe, I know this. And yet, I struggle. I struggle because it makes no logical sense. I struggle because, if I really did believe, wouldn't I be crawling on my knees to receive Him? Wouldn't I be able to participate in Mass without creating my grocery list in my head? I often think back to my second grade self who could not receive Communion because I was not Catholic. I was baptized into the Armenian Apostolic Church and although both churches are very close in their beliefs there is still some theological division. Not being able to receive Communion was so upsetting to me that my mother petitioned the bishops of both churches to see if I could get a dispensation to receive. I was in Catholic School and my mom, sister and I were attending Catholic Mass on Sundays. The bishops decided that I was allowed to partake in communion in the Catholic Church if there was no Armenian Church with in 10 miles of where I was. So, in the summer, when we lived at our beach cottage, I received, but the rest of the year, I knelt in the pew with tears in my eyes. Years later, after I became Catholic, I realized what a gift God had given me. I had yearned and hungered for Him in a way that I no longer did because receiving Him has become routine and expected. I know in my mind how privileged we were here in the USA to be able to attend Mass, not just on Sunday but any and every day if we choose. IF WE CHOOSE, if it suits us! Jesus, is not forcing us, he is inviting us and waiting for us. I also realized how I had lost that yearning. I know I started taking Him and receiving Him in the Eucharist for granted.
That is until Sunday March 15 when I was in a panic. I was vaguely aware of making a Spiritual Communion but in my "holier than thou" self I never thought it was "as good as" actually receiving communion and nothing I had to think about until I was old and had to "watch Mass on TV". Time to do some soul searching and research. Another reason why I love the Catholic Church is because it really does have a biblical answer for everything. What it teachers makes sense if you are patient enough and open enough to take the time to understand the what and why. This is something I have purposely tried to do over the years. I have learned so much, and understand much more than I did. As I tell my children, "if you think you know all about your faith then your spiritual lives will stall. You can never stop learning."
What have I learned this week? I have learned that the desire to participate in Mass and receive Holy Communion is key. That every single Mass offered, by every single priest in this world is being offered by them for US! Because of our baptism we are all members of the body of Christ As members of Christ's body we are all partaking in each and every Mass that is said around the world. Our guardian angles are partaking in the Eucharist for and with us. I have learned that this abstaining from receiving the Eucharist is nothing new for our Church. There have been other times in history when for either emergencies, a shortage of priest or just because it wasn't expected, that people have not receive Jesus every time they went to Mass. I have learned that it is the desire of our heart and the participation in the Mass that is what is needed to fulfill our Sunday obligation. And I have been reminded in a very visceral way that Jesus is still with us, is always with us and our desire to be with Him is what is required now.
That seven year old girl showed up today. She was kneeling in front of the big screen TV, surrounded by her family and dog. The tears of desire were flowing again. She prayed in thanksgiving for all the priests who were offering Masses for her today and receiving Jesus in the Eucharist for her. She was grateful that she could partake in Mass. Even if she couldn't physically receive Jesus, she knew she was uniting her heart and soul to His. She looked forward in great anticipation to the joy of one day uniting herself again, physically with her Savior.
Some resources in case you are curious:
https://angelusnews.com/faith/the-secret-to-understanding-spiritual-communion-in-a-time-of-video-masses/?fbclid=IwAR3RmXgllEkUPt97VKt_1hMw2XWUvxHosIS1BkV6b_J3UuAv-waFCpxpRGM
https://osvnews.com/2020/03/14/the-why-and-how-of-making-a-spiritual-communion/
Last Friday, March 13, the archdiocese 5 miles away from our diocese suspended Masses due to the Coronavirus. When I heard this I stopped dead in my tracks as the tears flowed from my eyes. For the first time I was scared and a little angry, "If we don't have Jesus, we are doomed." My thoughts can go from 0-60 in, well, less than sixty seconds and sometimes they can be insane!
As we loaded everyone into the car on Sunday for Mass, I vowed to be very present and cognizant of what we were about to participate in. I was going to make this Mass count because I knew it would be the last time I received our Lord in the Eucharist for a while. Like most resolutions, I failed miserably. The squirmy 8 year old continued to squirm, all over me, causing me to be slightly perturbed and then my grocery list started forming in my head. When it was time to consume the Eucharist and I was trying to purposefully and slowly chew I got a crumb stuck in my throat and started coughing! EEEK! NOW EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT ME AND THINKING I AM SICK. I left Mass thinking, "How are we going to do this with out Jesus?"
Let me interject here, just incase anyone reading is not Catholic. Yes, we really do believe the Eucharist is Jesus', body, blood, soul and divinity. I really do believe this. I don't just believe, I know this. And yet, I struggle. I struggle because it makes no logical sense. I struggle because, if I really did believe, wouldn't I be crawling on my knees to receive Him? Wouldn't I be able to participate in Mass without creating my grocery list in my head? I often think back to my second grade self who could not receive Communion because I was not Catholic. I was baptized into the Armenian Apostolic Church and although both churches are very close in their beliefs there is still some theological division. Not being able to receive Communion was so upsetting to me that my mother petitioned the bishops of both churches to see if I could get a dispensation to receive. I was in Catholic School and my mom, sister and I were attending Catholic Mass on Sundays. The bishops decided that I was allowed to partake in communion in the Catholic Church if there was no Armenian Church with in 10 miles of where I was. So, in the summer, when we lived at our beach cottage, I received, but the rest of the year, I knelt in the pew with tears in my eyes. Years later, after I became Catholic, I realized what a gift God had given me. I had yearned and hungered for Him in a way that I no longer did because receiving Him has become routine and expected. I know in my mind how privileged we were here in the USA to be able to attend Mass, not just on Sunday but any and every day if we choose. IF WE CHOOSE, if it suits us! Jesus, is not forcing us, he is inviting us and waiting for us. I also realized how I had lost that yearning. I know I started taking Him and receiving Him in the Eucharist for granted.
That is until Sunday March 15 when I was in a panic. I was vaguely aware of making a Spiritual Communion but in my "holier than thou" self I never thought it was "as good as" actually receiving communion and nothing I had to think about until I was old and had to "watch Mass on TV". Time to do some soul searching and research. Another reason why I love the Catholic Church is because it really does have a biblical answer for everything. What it teachers makes sense if you are patient enough and open enough to take the time to understand the what and why. This is something I have purposely tried to do over the years. I have learned so much, and understand much more than I did. As I tell my children, "if you think you know all about your faith then your spiritual lives will stall. You can never stop learning."
What have I learned this week? I have learned that the desire to participate in Mass and receive Holy Communion is key. That every single Mass offered, by every single priest in this world is being offered by them for US! Because of our baptism we are all members of the body of Christ As members of Christ's body we are all partaking in each and every Mass that is said around the world. Our guardian angles are partaking in the Eucharist for and with us. I have learned that this abstaining from receiving the Eucharist is nothing new for our Church. There have been other times in history when for either emergencies, a shortage of priest or just because it wasn't expected, that people have not receive Jesus every time they went to Mass. I have learned that it is the desire of our heart and the participation in the Mass that is what is needed to fulfill our Sunday obligation. And I have been reminded in a very visceral way that Jesus is still with us, is always with us and our desire to be with Him is what is required now.
That seven year old girl showed up today. She was kneeling in front of the big screen TV, surrounded by her family and dog. The tears of desire were flowing again. She prayed in thanksgiving for all the priests who were offering Masses for her today and receiving Jesus in the Eucharist for her. She was grateful that she could partake in Mass. Even if she couldn't physically receive Jesus, she knew she was uniting her heart and soul to His. She looked forward in great anticipation to the joy of one day uniting herself again, physically with her Savior.
My Jesus,
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You.
Amen.
Some resources in case you are curious:
https://angelusnews.com/faith/the-secret-to-understanding-spiritual-communion-in-a-time-of-video-masses/?fbclid=IwAR3RmXgllEkUPt97VKt_1hMw2XWUvxHosIS1BkV6b_J3UuAv-waFCpxpRGM
https://osvnews.com/2020/03/14/the-why-and-how-of-making-a-spiritual-communion/
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