We all know the commercial where the parents are singing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" while buying back to school supplies for their children. There are many reasons why I don't like that commercial. One of the reasons is because it signals a major transitional time of year and what I have realized through my musings in the last few years is that I really don't like transitions.
Starting mid August to mid September my stomach is in knots, and I look toward my birthday at the end of September as a kind of finish line. When I get there I celebrate, the routines are more or less in place and there is a certain normalcy to life again. As a child I would have the yearly "back to school dream". I can't remember it exactly anymore but I do remember I had it every August and it filled me with dread. As an adult I may not have the dream but I still have the dread. It is the thought of going from days of openness with unending possibilities to days of strict schedules and business. Now that I have college students and highschoolers who are not homeschooled it is knowing they will not be flitting in and out of the kitchen all day. It is knowing that even with the homeschoolers we have things we must get done, places we must be, people we must see. Not that more relaxed tone of summer is better, both are needed but it is the shift between the two that sends me into a tizzy. I reluctantly took the September calendar out yesterday and started plotting and planning, slowly and methodically shifting my mindset from a time of being to a time of doing.
The highschoolers are in school, the college boy is returning tomorrow, the working girl is at work and the homeschoolers and I are going to embrace this new norm with excitement.....next week!
Thursday, August 29, 2019
Wednesday, August 21, 2019
The Little Things
What a crazy spring we had! From the first day of spring until mid June our family celebrated two sacraments (First Communion & Confirmation), two theater productions, a dance recital, two baseball teams,swim lessons, a quick trip to Ireland for hubby and me, a weekend trip to Ohio for a college graduation, a prom, and 5 out of 6 children's birthdays (two of whom are still waiting for a party). Oh yea, and we rescued a 18 month old dog from Alabama! I am not complaining, really. I am just tired!
As I tried to keep my head above water the past few months my mantra became, "Blessed Chaos." The way we choose to look at things impacts the way we approach them. I am not saying I didn't break down in tears many times trying to juggle the schedule because that would be an out right lie. But I really did try to reframe my thought process as I was moving through the Blessed Chaos. All these things All these activities, events, celebrations,were good! Not just good but great! They are the stops and starts on the road to adulthood. Not only do we physically drive our children here, there and everywhere but we help them navigate their interests so they can find and use their God given gifts. It is one of the best parts of the "job" we have and we fill with parental pride as our children move through the major and minor milestones of their lives, struggling, stumbling and succeeding. How can we not?
However, I found out during this crazy spring season, that it wasn't the major milestones that shattered my maternal heart but it was what seemed to start as an ordinary event, on an ordinary day, that was an extraordinary experience for me. The 11 year old started in Boyscouts this spring. He was completing his requirement for his first advancement. My husband usually takes him to the scout meetings but for some reason I was in charge that day. My young scout was wrecked with anxiety all day about having to go talk to one of the leaders that night. When I say he was worried, we spent most of the our homeschooling day, going over his requirements and talking him through what he need to say and do. My husband spoke with him on the phone. I continued to reassure him throughout the day. But he was not convinced that this would work. I was present at the end of the meeting so I could be there if he needed me to help him navigate approaching the leaders. However, I made sure I was way in the background, just giving him little head nods and smiles as he waited for the leader to acknowledge him. Finally, the leader saw him and asked if he needed something. Tentatively, my son approached and started explaining all he had done to earn the rank of Scout. When they were done talking, son turned around and was beaming! The joy on his face and the realization that he accomplished something so challenging (not the rank of scout but the presentation of his work) was more than my heart could bare. I was given the gift of seeing a glimpse of the man he developing into. We say we are proud of our children, but at that moment, my heart was shattered with love and pride. Even now, writing this, I am brought to tears. By some miracle, I was able to drive him home and chit chat about the meeting and how well he did without breaking down in tears (that I saved for my husband later on!) The 11 year old was quite please with himself but I don't think he realized, like I realized, how much he accomplished that night!
In your times of Blessed Chaos try to hold onto those moments of pure joy!
As I tried to keep my head above water the past few months my mantra became, "Blessed Chaos." The way we choose to look at things impacts the way we approach them. I am not saying I didn't break down in tears many times trying to juggle the schedule because that would be an out right lie. But I really did try to reframe my thought process as I was moving through the Blessed Chaos. All these things All these activities, events, celebrations,were good! Not just good but great! They are the stops and starts on the road to adulthood. Not only do we physically drive our children here, there and everywhere but we help them navigate their interests so they can find and use their God given gifts. It is one of the best parts of the "job" we have and we fill with parental pride as our children move through the major and minor milestones of their lives, struggling, stumbling and succeeding. How can we not?
However, I found out during this crazy spring season, that it wasn't the major milestones that shattered my maternal heart but it was what seemed to start as an ordinary event, on an ordinary day, that was an extraordinary experience for me. The 11 year old started in Boyscouts this spring. He was completing his requirement for his first advancement. My husband usually takes him to the scout meetings but for some reason I was in charge that day. My young scout was wrecked with anxiety all day about having to go talk to one of the leaders that night. When I say he was worried, we spent most of the our homeschooling day, going over his requirements and talking him through what he need to say and do. My husband spoke with him on the phone. I continued to reassure him throughout the day. But he was not convinced that this would work. I was present at the end of the meeting so I could be there if he needed me to help him navigate approaching the leaders. However, I made sure I was way in the background, just giving him little head nods and smiles as he waited for the leader to acknowledge him. Finally, the leader saw him and asked if he needed something. Tentatively, my son approached and started explaining all he had done to earn the rank of Scout. When they were done talking, son turned around and was beaming! The joy on his face and the realization that he accomplished something so challenging (not the rank of scout but the presentation of his work) was more than my heart could bare. I was given the gift of seeing a glimpse of the man he developing into. We say we are proud of our children, but at that moment, my heart was shattered with love and pride. Even now, writing this, I am brought to tears. By some miracle, I was able to drive him home and chit chat about the meeting and how well he did without breaking down in tears (that I saved for my husband later on!) The 11 year old was quite please with himself but I don't think he realized, like I realized, how much he accomplished that night!
In your times of Blessed Chaos try to hold onto those moments of pure joy!
Monday, January 21, 2019
What do I want to be when I grow up?
Periodically, my husband and I revisit the idea of me taking on a paying job. Usually, it results in me getting stymied at the prospect of putting together a resume but I decided this was the year I would tackle that first step. How to put into words what we do as mothers is a blog post in and of itself: one I am not ready to write because I am still trying to figure it out! However, this idea of leaving the safety of my home and going back out into the work force has forced me to think of what I want to be when I grow up.
The easiest route would be to hop back into my previous profession as a Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist. I ran into an former colleague once who asked me a question that I have pondered ever since: "But do you want to sit on the floor any more?" (We worked in Early Intervention together. our offices were sitting on the floor playing with children up to 3 years old.). In the intervening time from that question and me sitting down working on this resume I have day dreamed of the ultimate job.
Are you ready?
I want my own bookmobile! I want to drive around into neighborhoods with my vast array of children's books and share them with children. I see a need for this! Not just in underprivileged neighborhoods but in places like where I live. Neighbors are isolated. People are inside unless they are scheduled to go somewhere. So in my vision the bookmobile would show up and after a few times ,when parents trusted me, they would send their children out to the bookmobile to pick a book. I would have just books (and maybe cookies) in my bookmobile. My job would be to help each child find the perfect book that would transport him into a new world. Impromptu book clubs would spring up as the children started sharing favorite stories with each other. Conversations would flow and flourish. Neighbors would get to know each other again. Sharing of ideas and civil conversations would be a natural progression.
I am not sure what this has to do with motherhood. Except in the chaos of family life it is sometimes good to dream big.
What do I need to accomplish this? I have plenty of children's books (and my husband would probably be happy to move them OUT of the house). I even have experience driving large vehicles. Not just our family car but I drove a bus for a few short months in college! What I need is someone to donate a bus, refurbish it for me, and pay me.
Any takers?
The easiest route would be to hop back into my previous profession as a Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist. I ran into an former colleague once who asked me a question that I have pondered ever since: "But do you want to sit on the floor any more?" (We worked in Early Intervention together. our offices were sitting on the floor playing with children up to 3 years old.). In the intervening time from that question and me sitting down working on this resume I have day dreamed of the ultimate job.
Are you ready?
I want my own bookmobile! I want to drive around into neighborhoods with my vast array of children's books and share them with children. I see a need for this! Not just in underprivileged neighborhoods but in places like where I live. Neighbors are isolated. People are inside unless they are scheduled to go somewhere. So in my vision the bookmobile would show up and after a few times ,when parents trusted me, they would send their children out to the bookmobile to pick a book. I would have just books (and maybe cookies) in my bookmobile. My job would be to help each child find the perfect book that would transport him into a new world. Impromptu book clubs would spring up as the children started sharing favorite stories with each other. Conversations would flow and flourish. Neighbors would get to know each other again. Sharing of ideas and civil conversations would be a natural progression.
I am not sure what this has to do with motherhood. Except in the chaos of family life it is sometimes good to dream big.
What do I need to accomplish this? I have plenty of children's books (and my husband would probably be happy to move them OUT of the house). I even have experience driving large vehicles. Not just our family car but I drove a bus for a few short months in college! What I need is someone to donate a bus, refurbish it for me, and pay me.
Any takers?
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