I am sitting here with a blank screen, a quiet house, a head swirling with thoughts and a heart overfilled with emotion. We dropped our second oldest of at college a week ago today and I am still trying to put it all together.
The day before he left was a grace filled day. A gift from God. Actually, all days are a gift from God but we aren't always in the right space to appreciate that or be tuned into it. Thankfully, I was on that day. It was nothing extraordinary which was what made it so beautiful. Our oldest had already left for her Junior year at college and the third was at her second day of sophomore year of highschool. The soon to be college boy was packing up, running errands, asking advice on classes. The younger three were happy playing together (miracle!) but then big brother suggested they play a board game. Joy was abundant. I was pouring all my emotion into making a perfect dinner for my son.
At one point College Girl called to chit chat, the highschooler returned home, the others were laughing in another room and I was over come with gratitude, joy and love. After hanging up the phone I stood at my kitchen sink with tears pouring down my face. How blessed I was! A mother's heart swells with unconditional love to the point that it breaks into a million pieces and is scattered throughout the world. My heart was breaking. My world was changing. Transition was happening. It was and is the hardest thing we have to do as parents. (And I have to do it 4 more times!!!) But it is inevitable. We must let our hearts break so we can send that love out into the world. And, by the the grace of God, if we have let our hearts love to the point of breaking we have done our job well.
