Sleep. It is what eludes us mothers. From the frenetic frenzied feeding days of our newborns through trying to stay awake as we wait for our driving teens to come home, we are always chasing that magical elixir from days gone by: sleep, or more precisely uninterrupted sleep. Most nights after the Littles are in bed Hubby and I hang out and watch tv for a bit. I use to do more after the kids went to bed but I can't muster any projects past 9 pm anymore. Most nights it takes all I have to muster myself past 9 pm, especially if I am the one reading bed time storied to the Littles. By the time reading and prayers are done I am being pulled into a delicious lull of total calm and relaxation. I am convinced (though I have to scientific data to back me up) that having been a nursing mother for about 16 years, with only a few months off here and there, the total calm and peaceful bliss I start feel as I drift off is associated with the same Prolactin hormonal response I had while nursing my babies. You know the feeling: deep, utter, contentment and relaxation. The perfect entrance into sleep. I only feel this way when reading to the Littles at night. Most nights I do not give into its temptation but the other night whether from physical or emotional exhaustion I gave into the seduction. I tiptoed by my husband and whispered, "I'm going to bed." The trick here is to make sure you don't fully come out of that trance as you transfer from your children's room to your bed. You can not talk, brush teeth, use the bathroom, turn on lights or anything that would rouse you to complete consciousness or you will loose the floating on air out of body feeling.
Success! I had made it into my bed and was sinking deeper into the cloud of sleep. Deep restorative sleep was coming my way.
But wait!
Within the first five minutes, there was the gleeful giggle of the 5 year old, "YOU ARE HERE!" Does he check ever night to see if I am in my bed after he is tucked in? He climbs in and snuggles down. Ok. I can still do this. Keep still, give a kiss and we will soon be counting sheep.
Next, the 8 year old. "Oh, you are here! I can't find my book to read so I will just snuggle with you for awhile." I really don't see how the two are related. I am starting to loose that floating feeling. But they are cute and won't want to snuggle with me forever so "everyone just be quiet."
A little while later from the deep recesses of my mind I hear, "Mom, Mom? MOM! Where's Mom?" Light on in my room, "oh, are you in bed?" At that point the 8 year has decided he has had enough snuggle time and is now going back to his bed. Rustle, rustle, climb over me to get out of the bed!
I have now lost that blissful Prolactin induced sleep. But I do not despair. I can still get to sleep earlier that usual and that will be a good thing. For an hour or so I think I am sleeping but I really don't know because when my husband comes in I feel like I haven't been asleep at all. I get up, move the 5 year old back to bed and settle back in when my husband then does something unbelievable: HE STARTS TALKING! (Ha-get your minds out of the gutter). Really?! You want to chat now!!!???? Oh why not? Conversation, though not long, finally dwindles down and I am hoping at this point to catch the last wisps of slumber that are still floating around my being when the PHONE RINGS!
I have spoken about the late night phone call panic before so lets just say I went bolting down the stairs to grab the phone with my husband right behind. "Mom, I have to tell you something funny!" States the College Girl, "Oh, were you in bed?" At that point I responded with one word, "tomorrow." Click.
I burrowed into my bed at 8 pm that night with such high hopes. At 10:30 I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, all tabs of my mind open and racing while my dear husband slept soundly by my side. The next morning he stated with a bemused chuckle, "How many woke you up last night? 4 out of 6? And one being 10 hours away. Not bad."
